Then something changed. When she finally gave up on me (so I thought) and stopped bugging me about it, I (okay, WE, I guess my ex had something to do with it!) decided to take the leap. I'm so grateful that I did. As a result, I had my son at the ripe age of 38. Just in the nick of time! In hindsight, I'm glad I waited AND sad I waited. Sad that I didn't have the time or energy to have more children. But glad that I can provide for my son, being a single mother now.
I love being a mother. It is by far the best accomplishment of my life. To think I waited FOREVER to have my son to "work on my career" and climb the corporate ladder is ridiculous. My career WAS everything! It WAS my identity. Looking back, I really needed my head examined! Someone in my family really should have staged a "reality check" intervention on me! Although, I would have run from said intervention before they could pound some sense into me. That's how much in denial I was about life.
Thankfully, I'm so much wiser now and know that NO amount of money or career advancement is as fulfilling as loving someone more than life itself...and knowing they love you back just as much.
The moral of this story...
I was walking thru Target this morning and it hit me as I eyed the aisle of pastel pink Mother's Day cards; I no longer have a mother to buy a card for or badger me about what's really important in life. I'm "the mother" now. It made my heart drop into my stomach.
Every once in a while it hits me like a ton of bricks...and I feel empty and lost...without my mother.
I'm forever grateful that I finally listened to my mom when I did. Thankful that my mom (relentlessly) encouraged me to be someones mother. Someones everything. Thankful that she always knew and fought for what was really important in life and tirelessly passed on that wisdom.
I hope I can do the same for my son.
Happy Mother's Day Mom! Thank you for never giving up on me. I am who I am because of you. The good (and the naughty)!